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Loading... Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) (edition 2000)by Gavin de BeckerTo me, the most interesting part of the book was the beginning, when he discusses how often people fail to listen to their instincts or voices of doubt before tragedy strikes. The babysitter who seemed distracted, the neighbor who seemed slightly creepy, the person n the store who struck up too long a conversation, etc. He discusses strategies used by predators, such “forced teaming” (trying to establish a bond, like having a shared interest) and not taking no for an answer, as well as common-sense strategies. For both children and adult women who need assistance, he suggests asking a woman for help rather than waiting to be approached by someone offering help. In the second half of the book, he gets in details like choosing a pediatrician, school, babysitter, etc. for your child and suggests a level of scrutiny that many people (myself included) will find excessive. Still, the viewpoint is a useful one and I would encourage other parents to read the book; even if you don’t agree with it completely, you’ll learn something. This book gives very practical advice on keeping children (and adults) safe, but it is not alarmist. It does not aim to "freak out" parents, rather it just makes you aware of some dangers, and lets you know what you can do to stay safe. In this regard it is actually empowering, which takes away a lot of fear. Great idea from this book: What should your child do if lost? Many people say "Find a police officer". How can a preschooler tell the difference between a police officer and a security guard, or even know where to find one? De Becker recommends "Find a mommy". Children know what a mommy looks like, and most women with children will go out of their way to make sure that a lost child is kept safe. Every parent worries "How do I protect my children from bad guys?" This book helps us focus on the actual likely dangers (such as abuse by a known trusted adult) and how to put unlikely dangers into perspective (more children have heart attacks each year than are abducted by a stranger.) De Becker teaches us not to deny that people want to hurt children, but to learn to trust our instincts when fear is warranted, and to make our decisions carefully so we do not have to live in fear most of the time. This book can be painful to read. De Becker is willing to talk about some of the terrible things that can and do happen to children in his attempts to protect more children from those outcomes. If you think it will be too much for you see if you can get your spouse or a good friend to summarize some of the strategies for you, or skip to the "choosing a babysitter" section to find specific questions he recommends you ask when you're choosing a caregiver. This is a book which I am not only going to buy for myself, I'm going to buy copies to give away to my friends who are parents. It's an excellent, necessary book about using our instincts (and teaching our children to use theirs) to keep our children safe, with a lot of very useful information about what tactics to watch out for in people who would abuse our children, or ourselves. It was written by an expert on violent behavior, who advises the Supreme Court and the White House about security issues. The guy draws some evolutionary parallels that seem a bit dicey, but I can't argue with his main points, and I have already begun applying his advice to my life and my parenting. |
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Google Books — Loading... GenresMelvil Decimal System (DDC)649.1Technology Home and family management Parenting, Caregiving ParentingLC ClassificationRatingAverage:
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