How to say it for women

What the language of success will do for you

1. Follow the leaders to the language of success : leave the sad stories behind

The language of weakness

Words that weaken your message

Words that make you invisible

Words that destroy confidence

Reading as a power tool

Put an end to predatory language

Seeing yourself in a new light

Acquiring the language of success : what you can learn from successful women

The hero at the next desk

The next step

Quick tips

2. Throw off your shackles : break free of the grammar of weakness

Embrace complexity : the Janus principles

Eradicate the grammar of weakness

The indecisive I

Five ways I statements weaken language

A quick fix for I statements

Intimacies : great for the bedroom, poison for the boardroom

Trim your hedges : add authority to your words

What to say if there's real uncertainty

Stop tripping on tags : keep the power in your expression

The OTHER four-letter word that always fails

How to like, stop looking, like, ditzy

Puny passives : a world in which no one acts

Hypercorrectness : a poor camouflage for weak language

Modify, modify, modify

The weak links : and, and, and, but, and, but, and, but

Overkill : too many words, cluttering clauses, jibber-jabber

Quick tips

3. Assert yourself : use the grammar of power

Charlotte's grammar

Quick review : powerful forms

Verbs and the will to act

Add vigor with action verbs

Distance yourself for power and credibility

The passive as the voice of power

"Show who must be obeyed" : instructions that work

Powerful ways to say no

How to resist strongly ... yet softly

Gain unparalleled power : the parallel form

Quick tips

4. Words that work : choose them wisely

Word power : how to follow Charlotte's example

Six steps to the vocabulary of power

Step 1 : think before you speak

Step 2 : energize with action verbs

Step 3 : emulate Charlotte : be savvy about business words

Step 4 : milk metaphors : make work a tapestry, a garden, a birthplace

Step 5 : follow the mentors

Step 6 : keep your word store up-to-date and ready-to-use

Quick tips. 5. Get organized : a recipe for confident communication

Planning is power : learn from Charlotte's organization system

Make a million? : yes. Speak to an audience? : no!

A no-fail recipe for successful communications

Structures

Thirteen steps to organized presentations

The price of "spontaneity"

Master the recipe

then create

Quick tips

6. Stand up and speak like a woman : perfect your presentations

Overcome the credibility gap

Invisible and silent or seen and heard?

You have the floor. Now what?

How not to give a talk

How to construct a talk that works

Decide what to say ... and what not to say

Write a script

Include all the ingredients

Write for listeners, not for readers

Make your words easy to remember

Use the grammar of power

Tell stories

Remind and repeat

It's not just rhetoric

Use precise, concrete words and images

Show vivid visuals

How to control what you can't control : the question-and-answer session

How not to ask questions

What to do when you get the floor

Techniques that fail

Techniques that work

Sit down and speak like a woman

Choose powerful, precise language

Make your meeting comments memorable

Block the boors

Watch the powerhouse women broadcasters

The job interview in the language of success

Quick tips

7. The body language of power : lead without words

Achieve the posture of power

You're seen before you're heard : send a powerful message

First impressions count : how to make yours memorable for the right reasons

Slouch, shamble, trip, leap, march, or stride

Body power from head to toe

Hold your head high

The eyes have it

The face tells all ... or nothing

The trunk show

Arms and the woman

The feet form the foundation

Beyond the body : your voice speaks volumes

Let's whisper about voice

"I come from Atlanta?"

Faster than the speed of sound

Stamp out wimpy noises

Use silence

Transforming nervous Nellie : sure-fire confidence builders

Confidence builder 1 : weigh the consequences

Confidence builder 2 : laugh at yourself

Confidence builder 3 : take a deep breath

Confidence builder 4 : forget perfection

Sit down and look strong

Quick tips. 8. Success has its style : play your role with panache

Work is theater : how to dress the part

Hair

Smell

Figure

Face

Clothing

Accessories

Shoes

Business casual?

Copy the models of excellence

Quick tips

9. Writing the language of success : use the mighty pen

Weak words from a top manager

The Harvard memo

A response to "a memo every woman keeps in her desk"

Elements of weakness

How to recast the memo

Writing in the twenty-first century : how the language of success empowers you

Technology changes, principles remain the same

E-mail peeves and tips

Women and the Web

Quick tips

10. Why can't a woman read more like a man? : empowerment through reading

Reading and success : what (and how) you read does make a difference

What do you read?

How do you read?

Reading : the heart of communication

How to read for power

Read like a fencer : no more Ms. nice girl

Infiltrate the enemy camp : read what you abhor

Rebel! : read aloud

How to prepare a text for oral reading

Tips on reading a talk

Quick tips

11. "But I thought you said ..." : precise listening prevents problems

Listening : a top leadership skill

What is listening?

Impediments to listening

Filtering

Imprecision

Inattention

Mismatches

Inflexibility

Quiet : I'm listening

Seven listening techniques that work

Technique 1 : "listen" to body language and other nonverbal clues

Technique 2 : listen precisely

Technique 3 : repeat or paraphrase

Technique 4 : empathize

Technique 5 : clarify

Technique 6 : probe

Technique 7 : listen instructionally

Fit the technique to the circumstance

Quick tips

12. Running the world

onward and upward

The four levels of leadership

The novice

The apprentice

The master

The mentor

Evaluate your leadership skills

How to use the leadership evaluation

Leadership evaluation. 13. The executive suite : how to lead with the language of success

Manager and mentor : what Charlotte teaches us

Nine ways to lead people through language ... and inspire them to follow

1) Be versatile

2) Accept credit for accomplishment modestly but strongly

3) Persuade in the language of power

4) Say no powerfully, but kindly

5) Lead meetings that work

6) Praise others' accomplishments when appropriate

7) Overcome hostility, win cooperation

8) Mentor the inexperienced

9) Transform weak players by showing confidence in them

Quick tips

14. Issues and answers : putting it all together in a complex world

Issue 1 : slurs, slights, and put-downs

A. Ignore it

B. Give one back

C. Respond in public but not in kind

D. Respond in private

E. Respond in writing

F. Ask a mentor for help

Issue 2 : apologies

Issue 3 : miscommunication

what to do when the system fails

The scenario : drowning in the secretarial pool

Issue 4 : giving criticism

Can you be kind and still lead? : yes!

Issue 5 : confronting tough personal issues

15. Our heroes, ourselves : empower yourself and others

Toward mastery and mentoring

Track your progress

Happy endings : the language of success

Language transforms a weakling

Language provides the power to lead

Language leads to opportunities

The importance of image

We can be both true friends and good writers

Bookshelf

About the author

About well-read