opposition to the doctrines of modern science and the meteorological section of our Academy of Sciences.

It was one of the day-dreams of our ancestors that organic life, and even the human species, could be produced by chemical processes. Goethe, in the second part of his "Faust," alludes to this day-dream when he introduces the homunculus, a human being that was the result of an alchymistic process. At present there are many who believe that organic life may be produced by certain stages of fermentation. Fermentation is sin, even when the duty is paid, and Vinegar Bitters the only refreshment permitted to the faithful. The disciples of the fermentation theory quote an experiment by which they produce fleas by moistening sawdust. I have tried the experiment, but could not raise anything, not even a self-made man, and only after many complicated processes I succeeded in raising a life-insurance agent-and that only after having added to the sawdust an addled egg.

Now, my Bohemian brethren, you cannot derive much satisfaction from such results, and, I admonish you, if you want to produce organic life, follow the old, approved method founded on the Darwinian law of natural selection and mutual affection.

SCHILLER AND GOETHE AS BOHEMIANS.

THE first traces of Bohemian sympathies in Schiller we find in his dramatic play "Die Räuber," in a passage where one of those interesting highwaymen advises to withdraw to the Bohemian forests-a delicate allusion to our midsummer celebration. In Schiller's later career we find two other and more celebrated plays localized in Bohemia, namely, "Wallenstein's Lager" and "Wallenstein's Death"; but Wallenstein's death was not caused by lager, as is erroneously supposed by ignorant people. Schiller had a medical education, but practiced medicine only for a very short time; in fact, he has killed considerably more people in his dramatical plays than by medical prescriptions. In this regard he is much my inferior, but he is a greater poet. In his

later years he was appointed Professor of History at the University of Jena. If he had remained faithful to the science of medicine, he might have become Professor of Hysterics at the Toland College, like our Bohemian brother, Professor Dr. Beverly Cole.

Let us now investigate the Bohemian qualities of Goethe and his origin. Goethe's grandsire was a blacksmith, and, as our grand Sire is at present a Taylor, Goethe may consider himself our equal; and so he was in reality, for when he studied law he joined an organization analogous to this. In his autobiography, headed "Truth and Fiction," he describes accurately the club and also the untimely end of this benevolent institution: The club was not careful enough in selecting its members. They admitted so many respectable people that the club lost its bad reputation, and then they dissolved with such violence that some members remained dissolute ever after. Some people say that in his book "Werther's Leiden"

Goethe advocated suicide, but, after all, this advocation was not without reason. Suicide, when properly directed, could be made very useful, like the "hara kiri" of the Japanese. If, for instance, all the members of our next Legislature could be induced to commit "hara kiri" before entering Sacramento, what a blessing it would be for this country! But as it is generally the wrong people who commit suicide, a careful government ought to warn them publicly by substituting for the antiquated advice, "Go to Hewston Hastings," the impressive words, "Commit no suicide." Goethe's most celebrated play is "Faust." Faust was a great conjurer who raised the devil and took a mortgage on his soui.. The formula has since been tried by many people, but without any satisfactory result, for Old Iniquity did not appear; from which circumstance one may infer how much in these dull times the value of souls has declined.

So, my dear brethren, keep on the path of righteousness, for you will find in that other