of some luminous phenomena and black dots before my eyes, spectral illusions, to which I am much subjected on lonely mornings, and which, perhaps, are the ghosts of the insects killed by me in the early days of California, when suddenly my attention was attracted to the cage of our sacred bird, the Owl. This at least was no spectral illusion; there was a letter directed to me, the same which I hold here in my hand. I think I can excuse the indiscretion of divulging the communication made to me by the Owl, because it seemed to me as if the father wishes its publication. It is as follows:

"DEAR SIR:

"SAN FRANCISCO, Dec. 29, 1874.

"Before I addressed these lines to you I hesitated to choose between you and Rev. Bromley, whose nocturnal habits and personal appearance are so much like my own; but, remembering the great consideration. which you always have shown me by showing homage to me in entering and

leaving the room, I consider you the most worthy for the reception of my confidence. in regard to my ideas on Darwinism.

"Before entering into particulars, I must state that Darwin's idea of progressive development is entirely wrong. This world has proved a failure from its very beginning. The tops of the mountains are washed down and fill the lakes and seas, causing trouble and confusion on all sides. The sewerage of the planet is bad everywhere, and the whole universe a system of blunders, a consolidated mass, the product of a long series of incompetent engineering of antediluvian Superintendents of Streets. The grade has been so continuously changed that you cannot find an alpine height without oyster-shells, sardine-boxes, and other marine productions, which prove the locality to have been originally the bottom of the sea; on the other hand, what is now the bottom of the sea is covered by a posttertiary stratum of umbrellas, peanut-shells, and broken bottles, a proof of its having

been but a short time ago a popular picnicground for Sunday excursions. These changes of grade took place chiefly to get a job for the numerous street contractors, by whom, at that period, this planet was mainly inhabited. The constant rotation of the planetary system prevented all investigation, and it was impossible to locate the blunders and mistakes and make individuals responsible, as everybody promptly blamed his predecessor. Mr. Post-tertiary blamed Mr. Jurassic; Mr. Jurassic, Mr. Lias; Mr. Lias says it is the fault of Mr. Eocene; Mr. Eocene says it is the fault of Sabbath-breaking and a bad kind of whisky.

"One of the most striking failures in creation is man, who is nearly as mean as a deadly enemy of my race, the crow, who persists in persecuting me whenever I appear in daylight, and flies at me and calls. me names. Just so mankind. Like the crow, he uses unfair means and has obtained by them a position for which nature has never intended him. He is an usurper, a

pretender. The idea of his innate superiority is quite ridiculous. Look at his jaws. How insignificant they are compared to those of the sea-lion. He has no claws, he has no bill, and when he gets a bill he leaves it unsettled.

"The only instance of a progressive being on this planet is the owl.

"The human race is fast degenerating. Look at the descendant of a Northern seaking selling liquor as an Angular Saxon at a corner grocery. Look at the descendants of Milesian kings drinking it on credit.

"The cultus of the ancient Aztec, with its impressive ceremonies of human sacrifices, has degenerated into the early piety of the Young Men's Christian Association. Compare the High Priest Huichtlipochtli, wielding in his right hand the sacred flint and in his left a bleeding, palpitating heart, to the Young Men Christian Deacon, with bald head, blue eye-glasses, a set of false teeth, and an umbrella instead of the sacrificial flint knife.

"As to natural selection, the idea is simply preposterous. It is true that we owls sometimes select our own kind for food, but there ends the working of that principle. Is it natural that on the top of the dentist you always find a photographer, above the undertaker a dancing-school? Or, explain why all your friends are more or less given to drinking.

"Yours truly,

"THE OWL."