a bet at a reasonable amount, sufficient to protect his veracity. The advantages of this system are numerous and evident:

1. It protects the sacredness of the oath, which ought not to be defiled for worldly considerations. The oath has to be used partly as a punctuation and partly as an expletive. In both capacities the oath belongs to grammar, not to law.

2. Oaths, as we all know, are recorded. in heaven, and our system, by which a notary public simply enters a note referring to the bet, saves a world of trouble to the recording angel, who now, besides his office duties, may attend to other matters; for instance, may attend lectures on obstetrics, or study law; so that, in case of a change in celestial politics he were to lose his office, he could make his living, without becoming a terror to the free-lunch system.

3. There will be considerably more solemnity in the proceeding and a powerful laconism if, instead of the common phrase "I solemnly swear to speak the truth and

munity. We raise any kind of scientist, from the practical miner up to the professor of surgical music or medical ethics, by simply putting on California soil the manure of an appropriation. Just as the mushroom in its natural, uncanned state springs from the dung left by benevolent cattle on an otherwise barren field, so by forming a little dunghill we can raise any variety of the practical miner and granger scientist.

Brother Daniel O'Connell at the Low Jinks will lay before you a petition to our coming Legislature where you are to sign your name, each with the mention of a small sum to be utilized to act on the pure minds and giant intellects of our legislators.

THE BACHELOR (Homo Caelebs) is chiefly found in the temperate zone, but not always of temperate habits. Most of the specimens live in clubs and look very much like the common species (homo pater familias), from which, in many instances, he can only be distinguished by his habit of keeping late hours-up to the dawn of morning -when he tries to make a face as if he had his coffee and to talk early piety.

In the first stage of his existence it is impossible to distinguish the bachelor from the common species. He spells, studies grammar, crams big words without knowing their meaning-like ordinary mortals. He fights indiscriminately with his own species, burns firecrackers on the Fourth of July, falls in love; but here is an essential difference