for a Drop of One Volt

Computed on Basis of Standard Annealed Copper at 15°C. = 59°F.

C

"STEADY, BOYS!"

A man had lost his wife by death, and was following the coffin to the grave. The coffin was being borne along the middle of the street by four bearers. As they went over a rough place in the road, one of the bearers stumbled, the coffin fell down on the hard ground and was so severely jolted that the lid came off and the dead woman came to life and sat up! In the course of a few weeks thereafter she died a second time, and a second time the funeral procession was wending its way to the grave after the same manner as before, the bereaved husband closely following the coffin and its bearers, diligently wiping his eyes with his kerchief and crying, "Wala wa! but she was a good wife and what shall I ever do without her!" He kept one eye open, however, for the rough place in the road where the dead had been jolted back to life on the former occasion, and when they approached it, he exclaimed amidst his mournful lamentations:

"Steady, boys, now-steady!"

NEW NAME FOR THEM.

One rainy afternoon Aunt Sue was explaining the meaning of various words to her young nephew.

"Now, an heirloom, my dear, means something that has been handed down from father to son," she said.

"Well," replied the boy, thoughtfully, "that's a queer name for my pants."

TOO MUCH FOR ONE WIFE. A negro called at the preacher's residence and asked: "'Bout how much will you charge me to marry me, suh?" "Well," said the preacher, "I usually get five dollars."

"Lor', boss," exclaimed the negro, "I ain't gwine to marry but one

woman!"

RELIEVING HIS MIND.

He was one of those men who is easily awakened but who is a long time getting to sleep. In the hotel he had at last got sound asleep when a loud rap, repeated, awoke him.

"What's wanted?"

"Package down-stairs for you." "Well, it can wait till morning."

The boy departed and after a long time the man was sound asleep again, when there came another resounding knock at the door.

"Well, what is it now?" he inquired angrily.

"Taint for you, that package!"

WHY THIS BRIDE TURNED PALE.

Two ladies were married to musicians. The one, a bride of a year, was pushing a baby-carriage in which were three fine babies-triplets, all girls. The other lady had been in the bonds of matrimony a couple of weeks.

"What beautiful children!" exclaimed the newly-married one with interest.

"Yes," replied the proud mother, "let me tell you the funniest coincidence. At our wedding supper the boys who played with my husband in the orchestra serenaded him and they played 'Three Little Maids,' from 'The Mikado.' Isn't that queer?"

At this the other bride turned pale. "Mercy!" she gasped. "At our wedding supper Tom's friends serenaded him, also, and they rendered 'The Sextette' from 'Lucia.'"

AFTER MARRIAGE. He called her dear Before they wed, And that's not queer When all is said.

He called her dear, And now, gee whiz, When bills appear He knows she is.

LADY ELEVATOR CONSTRUCTORS.

Pittsburgh, Pa.

To the Editor:

Well, here we are, Lady Elevator Constructors of Pittsburgh organized at last with a membership of twelve and hoping it will grow. The ladies meet every other Thursday at the different members' homes. At the meeting held at Mrs. J. Allen's home the following officers were elected:

President-Mrs. S. R. Millman.
Vice-President-Mrs. J. Allen.
Secretary-Mrs. J. W. Schultz.
Treasurer-Mrs. E. Babcock.

The ladies are going to hold a masquerade dance on Thanksgiving Eve at South Side Turner Hall, and hope all Elevator Constructors in Pittsburgh will atend.

MRS. J. W. SCHULTZ,
Secretary.

Branch No. 2.

BOSTON, MASS.

New England First.

To the Editor:

New England, first in the war for Independence, first in the war for the preservation of the Union, first at every call for men to defend their country, was first to make its National Guard units ready for overseas' service, and now in France is New England's first regiment of picked men, the Gallant Ninth.

New England is proud to be first. The security of its position has not been threatened by any reports of troop movements in the West and no Southern men have led the way ahead of her so far as known. In time of military necessity, when men must face danger, the Government turns first to New England.

But on this occasion all New England is rejoicing because Boston's famous regiment will soon face the enemy. A review of the deeds of the

"Gallant Ninth" is the bright spot on the pages of Massachusetts history. Some fifty odd years ago at the dread time when the very existence of the nation was attacked, there arose an opportunity for the display of the patriotism of deed. The very life of

the great Republic of the Western Hemisphere was threatened. For nearly а century this nation had marched along its mighty orbit like a majestic planet swinging in harmony through space, growing in strength, in influence and in marvelous prosperity, and in intellectual and commercial greatness, proving to the world that government of the people, by the people and for the people was not a dream.

Suddenly there was a pause in the drama of national activity. In the hour of peril she turned to those who enjoyed her fostering protection and sought their aid. Never was the cry of national assistance so heartily and devotedly heard. From the Atlantic to the Pacific battalion of men were quickly formed, vieing with each other in their efforts to save the nation.

Among those the "Ninth Massachusetts" has won a place of merited honor and distinction. It differed, as we all know, from the majority of regiments in several ways, but mainly in that officers and privates were Irish, or Irish descent. It thus disproved an all too common saying of the times that foreigners were not a help to the nation and could not be good patriots.

From the beginning Colonel Cass was filled with the desire to go forward with a regiment that would at once be a glory and credit to his race and the State of Massachusetts, and for the glorious success attendant upon his ambition in this direction we are here to-day to pay our great respects to deeds well done.

No writer could begin to adequately describe the heroic deeds wrought by the loyal Ninth. History tells of their deeds at Gaines Mill, of the fierce seven-days' struggle at Richmond, of Malvern Hill, Bull Run, Antietam, Fredericksburg, Chancellorsville, Gettysburg, Mine Run and of the terrific slaughter at the Battle of the Wilder

ness.

I will describe one engagement to bring home to our readers the calibre of these men. On June 27, 1861, took place the important battle of Gaines Mill. Colonel Cass was ordered to hold the bridge over the mill creek nearby, a position of isolation and danger, and four hours, midst a rain of leaden hail from an increasing foe they boldly held their position. Their encounter with General Jackson's forces of 20,000 was a memorable event. It was a critical moment, consternation reigned everywhere. Before that small band of heroes waved the Stars and Stripes and the green flag of Erin, and with loud hurrahs they rushed upon the rebels, driving them up the hill and to victory. It was heroism shown on this occasion that caused General Porter to give to this regiment the name of the "Fighting Ninth."

As in the 60's, the life of the nation was threatened by the forces of disintegration, so now there are powers at work in deadly earnest which threatens to undermine the foundation of stable government and to bring down in a mass of shapeless ruin this stately edifice of a self-ruling people.

And of old, when the cry rang out, "Fall in, Ninth," the country saw a well-disciplined body of men, stout of heart and sturdy of limb, move forward to the post of danger and there hold the position against overwhelming odds until death in honor or glorious victory had crowned their efforts. So now again, though against other foes, the cry rings out to their offsprings, "Fall in, Gallant Ninth," marshal all your forces against the enemies of truth and against the most High, against those who would rob the child of its birthright, the wife of

her support, the home of its sacred character, who would blot out the stars of hope from the firmament and turn the fair fields of earth into a valley of despair.

"Fall in, Gallant Ninth," may all your efforts be directed toward making our citizens a nation of intelligent, fearless and God-loving people. This is true valor, true patriotism. "Fall in, Gallant Ninth," be true to your mission of defending the country evea to the end.

In conclusion, let it be the earnest prayer of this Thanksgiving season that before another Thanksgiving day shall have arrived we will be able to see passing in review all of New England's heroic sons and daughters now on foreign soil.

Local No. 4.

M. H. O'BRIEN, JR.

PITTSBURGH, PA.

To the Editor:

Lighty has found his parrot, and was so much overjoyed that he feigned illness so that he might have a vacation to enjoy that parrot's company and renew old acquaintances.

Our opponents, the electricians, are trying to pull over some peculiar tricks. They have threatened to strike on jobs where the elevator men are working, but when it came to a show-down their feet got so cold they turned yellow. They even struck jobs for the electrical work on the elevators before they or the elevator men started work on the job, even going so far as to advise owners and contractors in Pittsburgh to cancel contracts with the Otis Company and give the contracts to the Warner Company, of Cincinnati. In other words, catering to firms that employ non-union men. Perhaps that may be one kind of unionism, but it's a different brand than the boys of No. 6 carry under their caps. If Warner ever instals any elevators in Pittsburgh he will put them in union or No. 6 will know the reason why.

The writer believes that organized labor will have its hardest battle in history at the close of this war. It is