THE STINGER STUNG

An Irishman recently went before a judge to be naturalized.

"Have you read the Declaration of Independence?"

"I hov not," said Pat.

"Have you read the Constitution

of the United States?"

"I hov not, yer Honor."

The judge looked sternly at the applicant and asked:

"What have you read?"

Patrick hesitated but the fraction of a second before replying:

"I hov red hairs on me neck, yer Honor."

SOME MOURNER

Down in Atlanta a negro, who had his life insured for several hundred dollars, died and left the money to his widow. She immediately bought herself a very elaborate mourning outfit. Showing her purchases to her friend, she was very particular in going into detail as to prices and all incidental particulars. Her friend was very much impressed and remarked:

"Them sho is fine cloes, but, befo' Heaven, what is you goin' to do wid all dis black underwear?"

The bereaved one sighed: "Chile, when I mourns I mourns."

One advantage of raising whiskers is that you can keep out of many a scrape.

Many a fellow has proposed to an heiress on his knees in the hope that she would put him on his feet.

It's a safe bet that the woman who believes everything her husband tells her has never been married before.

The things that usually happen are those that seem imossible.

H

AVING passed

over the threshold of another year, many of us will in fancy go back over the twelve months that have passed and smile when we recall the "New Year" resolutions we made a year ago, which, incidentally, calls to mind a woman who said reproachfully to her husband (about the middle of January), "You have broken all those good resolutions you made the first of the year."

"Yes, I know," he answered coolly. "I know I have broken them, but I shall make others quite as good next year."

Well, forget last year's good resolutions and forget the past year entirely. Turn with hope and confidence to the great new year and make new good resolutions, as many of them as your brain can conjure. Perhaps you did fail to keep the good intentions that made you so happy when you thought them out, but remember we are only human. Indeed, if we all were not so very human

there would be absolutely no need of our ever making any kind of good resolutions.

Many of us will see the old year go with few regrets. It brought us, perhaps, an extra share of cares and disappointments, but are we not all the better and stronger for them, and will not the lessons they taught us stand us in good stead during the coming days? The new year is the best of all times to take mental inventory, and every one of us should do so. We should forget the past entirely. All the regrets, all the sighs, all the tears that ever were or ever will be combined, cannot recall one single moment that has passed. Then why waste good time and vitality? Meet the new year with a brave, smiling face. The world stops to take notice of the fighter, and gives him ninety-nine chances out of one hundred, whereas the quitter is passed by without a glance. Then let us resolve that the early days of 1916 will see us starting all over again, standing fearlessly in our places and doing the best possible under the circumstances.

PENNSYLVANIA CHILD LABOR

LAW

The new Child Labor Law, enacted at the last session of the legislature, became operative on January 1. The regulation provides that:

No child under 14 years of age may work in any capacity in any establishment.

No boy or girl under 16 years of age may be employed for more than 51 hours a week in any establishment. (This includes eight hours of school attendance.)

Children between the ages of 14 and 16 who obtain certificates and enter employment, must attend continuation schools for at least eight hours every week, leaving 43 hours in which they may work for wages.

Children between the ages of 14 and 16 who wish to work must obtain certificates of physical fitness.

Children of the given ages employed prior to January 1 are exempt from the physical tests, but must attend the continuation schools for the allotted eight hours a week.

Boys under twelve years and girls of minor age must not sell flowers, newspapers or other articles on the streets or in public places at any hour. Boys over twelve may sell newspapers and other articles in public places up to 8 o'clock at night. Minors under 16 years must not sell newspapers, flowers or other articles in public places after 8 o'clock in the evening or before 6 in the morning. No minors under 16 shall be employed about dangerous machinery.

No minor under 18 shall be permitted to operate street cars, hoisting machinery, or be hired to drive an automobile.

No minor of any age or sex shall be employed in barrooms or where intoxicating liquors are sold.

Boys under 21 may not act as telephone or telegraph messengers after 8 o'clock at night.

Commercial establishments that can arrange to send the pupils to their own schools for one hour or more daily are permitted to meet the requirements of the law in that manner, so long as the school and working time does not exceed nine hours a day. The child must not be started in the store school before 8 A. M.

The trade unionists throughout the State had much to do with the passage of the bill which was the culmination of many years of agitation by them, having had the support of many organizations interested child welfare.

in

VOTE ON EIGHT-HOUR DAY

Pennsylvania and Reading Trainmen Participate in Country-wide Balloting

Philadelphia, Pa. Pennsylvania and Reading trainmen are now engaged in balloting on the question of an eight-hour day. Their movement is in conjunction with a similar action which is country-wide and involves about half a million trainmen. The ballots are to be returned March 1.

If the voting results affirmatively by a two-thirds decision, demands will be made on the railroads for com

pliance on threat of calling a general strike. The present schedule for freight trainmen on the Pennsylvania and Reading is a ten-hour day. They are also voting on the question of full

pay and one-half for overtime instead of full pay as is now the practice.

H. A. Enochs, general chairman of the trainmen's organization in this district, says there will be an affirmative landslide.

ONE ON BILLY

Billy Sunday stopped a newsboy in Philadelphia the other day and inquired the way to the post office.

"Up one block and turn to the right," said the boy.

"You seem a bright little fellow," said Sunday. "Do you know who I am?"

"Nope."

"I'm Billy Sunday, and if you come to my meeting to-night I'll show you the way to Heaven."

"Aw, go on!" answered the youngster; "you didn't even know the way to the post office."

NEW YORK

We would like to know if Brother Arthur McNally intends to keep all his resolutions, or only those he didn't dare tell his wife.

Brother Jack McGowan has a remedy to relieve us of almost everything without pain, including our watch and next week's salary.

It is said that Brother Denny Healey's coal bin looks empty since he presented his wife with a beautiful diamond necklace for Christmas.

Al. Tennyson might have been some poet when he wrote the celebrated thirst-quenchers, entitled "Crossing the Bars" and "Fill the Goblets Again," but as an actor, Brother Buck Maroney has him beat a thousand ways.

The honeymoon must be over in Brother Danny Burke's house, for it is said the grocer got an order from the bride for a quart of onions.

Reports say: Federal League lost $100,000 last year. It's a cinch that none of the local boys found any of it.

It is said that crooked methods defeated Brother Joe Duffy for alderman. He had it fixed up for $2.00 a vote, then the other side came along and offered $5.00. It's a heavy blow to reform.

Three kinds of gold might have been discovered in California, but Brother Jack McGorrey has found 9,000 ways to spend it.

reports have it that he is doing nicely and the bandages will be removed in a few days.

Brother Jack Mills has yet to ask for a small one. Too bad the season is over for dollar outings.

Brother Ed. (Sheriff) Grady has just received a Carnegie hero medal awarded to him by Congress for saving a drowning man in the Hudson River. We would like to know how the gentleman came to be in the water, Brother Ed. Was he pushed or was he just merrily tripped.

It is reported that all the moonshiners have gone back in their holes since Paddy is drinking buttermilk.

Good news for the unemployed: Radium will be reduced from $140,000 an ounce to $138,000 an ounce. We wonder if Brother Fred Grant would like to have about a pound of this stuff. No. 1.

BOSTON

SLIM.

What have you learned in a year? Three hundred and sixty-five days have passed since you started out in 1915, resolving to make each one count. Have you?

Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty hours have passed since the whistles blew out their welcome to the new year, 1915. How many have you wasted?

Five hundred and twenty-five thousand and six hundred minutes have been ticked out since you pledged yourself that you would hold each one precious. Did you?

You KNOW you DID NOT. Well, what about 1916? What are you going to do with another chance? Take an inventory of yourself for 1916. Let your gain be the experience of your loss. What are you going to do for the world, for your

neighbor, who is your co-worker, for the editor, who needs the support of ALL the splendid writers who have contributed to our Journal in the past?

What a grand opportunity, the opportunity of ANOTHER CHANCE!

May it bring peace to the Old World, and may peace be accompanied and supported by justice and mercy! May it bring to ALL of us, whatever our stations and environment may be, still greater desire and opportunity to practice more, even though doing so, we may have to preach less, the doctrine of human fellowship. No. 4.

BOSTON.

PHILADELPHIA, PA.

The new year was welcomed by great throngs who had assembled around the City Hall, where the Mayor was holding his farewell reception to the citizens.

Music, fireworks and all sorts of noise-producing devices were brought into play, as only a good-natured crowd of our folks can command, on Occasions like this.

The Mummers' parade in the morning was the feature of the day as usual, and depicted the events of the coming year, as also some of the shortcomings of the past. It was a moving picture show in all its glory, and was thoroughly enjoyed by thousands, many of whom were visitors. The railroad companies run special trains for the occasion from various points.

The consensus of opinion of many representative bankers, brokers, manufacturers and jobbers is that this year will be a most prosperous one in all lines. We earnestly hope these men are right, and the wheels of prosperity cannot revolve too soon, for the elevators constructors have been waiting for some time, and are prepared to handle any sized job from a skyscraper office building to a push button machine for an invalid.

The subject of the unemployed has

been taken up by an organization in this city whose object is to find out the causes of unemployment and endeavor, if possible, to recommend measures which will reduce the condition to a minimum.

The entire responsibility for dealing with unemployment cannot be shouldered off on to the employers and the city government. Consumers should realize that when business is slack, there rests upon the individual the obligation to purchase as much and as widely as possible against future need, so that industry will be started up and employment again furnished. By buying now, hiring now, repairing now, building now, cleaning up now, in slack times, both business firms, householders and individuals in general can contribute in the sanest way toward the relief of unemployment.

We started the new year with a very large number present at our meeting, and it kept our president, Brother Fisher, busy in handing out decisions.

We hope none of our correspondents have the Russian la grippe. They have our sympathy if they have, and if they have lost any of their grip we would like to encourage them to give just one more strenuous trial, before hollering quits.

We presume the members of the Women's Club No. 1 have been so busy preparing for the holidays that they have not contributed, so, of course, they are not suspected of having lost their grip.

Brother Dory Neill is able to walk around after having been confined to his home since last August, as the result of an accident. Dot's familiar expression, 18 karat, and genial smile have made him hosts of friends. No. 5. W. B. MACALISTER.

PITTSBURGH, PA.

From all sides and divers places, we hear expressions of surprise at the new dress and appearance of our Journal. It looks pleasing and prosperous, ranking with the best of trade